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    March 27, 2012

    Whatever Happened to the Monastic Sangha?

    A talk given at the 13thWestern Buddhist Monastic Conference By Venerable. Bhikkhu Bodhi  June 2006, Bhavana Society, West Virginia

    Posted with Venerable Bhikkhu Bodhi’s permission.

     

    First I should say, not as an excuse but by way of explanation, that I learned that I was to be a presenter only two days ago. I was a bit disoriented when I learned this, for I hadn’t prepared anything to speak about in advance. At first, I decided to make it easy for myself and give a presentation based on a paper that I already had on hand. But one statement that Venerable Heng Liang made yesterday, at the end of her talk, kept on ringing through my mind. It was the statement: “If a monastic Sangha doesn’t become well established in America, I don’t see much hope for the Dharma here.” Today I woke up long before dawn and those words immediately popped into my mind. I felt that I had somehow to address this topic in my talk. Suddenly ideas started to come together in my mind, at that very early hour. I sat down and started jotting down notes, and before long the draft of a paper was taking shape. Due to this morning’s activities, I could type out my notes only after lunch, and I just managed to print out a version to refer to during my talk ten minutes ago. The ideas aren’t well organized, but I will present them anyway. Please don’t mind if they are a bit out of sequence.

     

    In my talk I want to consider how we can move in a direction whereby the Sangha assumes its special role as the “torch-bearer” of the Buddha’s message, yet does so in a way that doesn’t alienate lay people, but on the contrary can win their trust, confidence, and devotion. Here in the United States, and maybe more broadly in the West, we have a rather unusual situation, matched perhaps only by Japan, where the most prominent teaching roles in several Buddhist traditions have been taken over by the laity, and not seldom this has been done with the blessings of members of the monastic Sangha. Sometimes, in fact, lay teachers train and even certify monastic Sangha members as teachers. It seems to me that the training in the Sangha should prepare monks and nuns to serve as Dharma teachers, for they have dedicated their lives to this purpose; yet in today’s world, we also have to prepare earnest lay people to understand, practice, and teach the Dharma, which implies a respect for their potentials as practitioners and teachers. Yet this should be done within a system that recognizes the monastic Sangha as the custodian of the Dharma as well as the field of merit for the lay community.

     

    Now, in a traditional Buddhist country like Sri Lanka, it isn’t unusual for lay people to become Dharma teachers. They give discourses, they conduct classes, they give meditation instructions, and sometimes conduct meditation courses and retreats; but when they do so, they’re almost always nested within a system that gives priority to the monastic order. Usually they will have studied and trained under monastic teachers, and they’ll continue to pay homage to the monastic Sangha as such, not merely to individual monastic teachers. If any lay teacher turns against the monastic Sangha, those lay devotees who have faith in the Sangha will steer clear of them. Such teachers – and there are a sprinkling of them nowadays in Sri Lanka – are usually recognizable by the idiosyncratic character of their teaching.

     

    In traditional pre-modern Buddhism, the roles for laity and monastics are clearly defined, and there is also a clearly defined version of the Dharma for each. This structure, though, can be rigid and limiting. The laity see their primary task to be that of acquiring merit, which will ensure them a favorable rebirth in their next existence and provide supporting conditions for the attainment of the ultimate Buddhist goal, nibbāna. The practice for the laypeople that goes along with this task is primarily giving (dāna), which usually means giving food to monks, observing precepts, undertaking devotional practices, and practicing short periods of meditation, usually on special observance days. The meditation practiced is primarily recollection of the Buddha, recollection of the Sangha, and loving-kindness meditation. Asian lay Buddhists who have been subject to modern influences emanating from the West have developed a new understanding of their roles, and so, while they continue to support the monastic order and look up to the monks as the custodians of the Dharma, they are also intent on learning the Dharma in depth and on practicing intensive insight meditation.

     

    The roles of monastic persons in theory are intensive study of the Dharma and meditation, as well as performing services for the laity. What happens in practice, however, in most temples in Asian Theravada countries, is that the role of performing services for the laity gains the upper hand; it has even become the major function of temple monks. Even intensive, in-depth study of the Dharma has faded out, and the practice of meditation has almost vanished, so that it is reduced to just five or ten minutes of quiet sitting in the daily devotional service. Forest monks often place more emphasis on meditation in the hope of reaching true attainment.

     

    For all its shortcomings, in traditional Asian Buddhism, these activities take place against a long-standing background that includes trust and confidence in the Three Jewels as objects of devotion and a world view that is determined largely by the teachings of the suttas and the commentaries. It is built upon solid trust in the law of karma and rebirth and upon an aspiration for nibbāna as a state of world-transcending realization.

     

    Modern Westerners, in contrast, come to the Dharma from an entirely different stance of consciousness. They generally have a much higher level of education than traditional village Buddhists. Many Westerners will have read widely in psychology and in fields that might be grouped under the heading of “spirituality” and “higher consciousness.” They also approach the Dharma with different problems in mind and they therefore naturally seek different solutions.

     

    When Westerners come to Buddhism, they bring to their encounter with the Dharma an acute sense of what I shall call “existential suffering.” By this expression, I’m not referring to clinical depression, or a disposition to morbid states of mind, or any type of psychopathology. What I mean is a gnawing sense of lack, a feeling of incompleteness or inadequacy, that can’t be filled by any of the ordinary sources of enjoyment. This sense of existential suffering can coexist with a personality that is, by all other criteria, quite sound and healthy. Sometimes existential suffering takes the form of a feeling of loneliness that can’t be eliminated by any number of social contacts or human relationships; sometimes it’s a feeling that “my life is empty, devoid of meaning and purpose”; or sometimes it’s just a conviction that there has to be more to life than acquiring rewards and trophies in the great American success story. For those who come from a deeply religious background and have lost their faith, it can manifest as a feeling of infinite absence, the absence of God that has to be filled with something else to give an ultimate meaning to life, an objective source of meaning or purpose without which life seems pointless and absurd.

     

    This sense of existential suffering, or “fundamental lack,” is the primary motive that drives most Westerners to seek the Dharma. People troubled by existential suffering come to the Dharma in search of what I would call “radical therapy.” Since they generally aren’t psychopathological, they aren’t using the Dharma as a psychotherapy. Though some have criticized them for doing so, in my observation this isn’t the case. But they are approaching it as what we might call an  “existential therapy.” They are trying to fill a hole at the bottom of their existence. They are seeking above all a practice that they can integrate into their daily lives in order to transform the felt quality of their lives. They aren’t seeking explanations; they aren’t seeking a new religion; and generally, they aren’t seeking a new system of beliefs.

     

    They come to the Dharma seeking a radical therapy, a method that will provide them with concrete, tangible, and immediate changes in the way they experience their worlds. And most Buddhist teachers – or rather, let me say, most Dharma teachers – are presenting the Dharma as exactly that. They are presenting the Dharma as a practice, a way, a path, that will help ameliorate this disturbing sense of existential suffering. They are presenting it as a radical, pragmatic, existential therapy that does not require any beliefs, that does not ask for any more faith than a readiness to apply the method and see what kind of results one can get from it. What is being given is something that is ably captured by the title of an extremely popular book on Buddhism, a title and a book that encapsulate very well the nature of this lay Dharma practice. The title of the book is Buddhism Without Beliefs.

     

    Why did this sense of existential suffering start to set in so dramatically in the United States and Western Europe right at the time that they reached the height of their technological and industrial power? Why did it set in among the well-educated, affluent middle and upper middle classes? To raise and address these questions is not irrelevant to our concerns, because to do so will help us to understand the transformation that Buddhism has been undergoing in its passage from Asia to the West. In my view, this sense of existential suffering set in just at that time, and just here, because the technological revolution that we underwent during that period was bought at a price – a steep price that we are still being forced to pay. The price is the alienation of human beings from themselves, from nature, and from each other. It is generally the well educated and affluent who feel the pain of this alienation most acutely, and thus the sense of anomie hits them hardest. This alienation leads to an overwhelming sense of purposelessness that pervades all aspects of our life. It infects our human relations, which become mechanical and competitive. It infects our relations with nature, as we turn natural wonders into national parks and dream worlds into Disneyworlds. It invades our relations with ourselves, haunting us in our most private moments of solitude. Even religion becomes a matter of Tel-evangelical campaigns aimed at boosting membership figures or lobbying around issues that are considered important by the so-called Religious Right.

     

    Underlying this project aimed at achieving the technological conquest of nature or the technological conquest of the world, is another project occurring at a deeper level. This is the project of bringing concrete actuality under the control and domination of our conceptually constructed pictures of actuality. However, when we attempt to do this, there is inevitably a gulf, a gap, between the conceptual constructs that we create and the concrete actuality that they are intended to represent. The conceptual constructs can never successfully capture the concrete actuality as it is in itself and adequately represent it; then, at some level, this inadequacy of conceptualization becomes felt as painful. Through conceptualization we aim to manipulate things, to bend things to our wills, to make them subservient to our human purposes, and the conceptualization often serves this purpose well. But this project of manipulation is inevitably driven from deep within by a desire to dominate reality, to make reality completely amenable to the dictates of our will; this project turns actuality into a set of tools to be used by a self. However, the more we do this, the further removed things become from us, the more they escape our attempts to dominate them, and this then generates that deep feeling of inner anguish that I call “existential suffering.”

     

    Now those Americans – and Westerners in general – who turn to Buddhism or to Dharma practice because they are oppressed, either consciously or unconsciously, by the sense of existential suffering see the Dharma as a means of restoring a sense of meaning and purpose to their lives. Not only do they see it in this way, but it works in this way. It helps them to overcome this bitter feeling of alienation from themselves, from others, and from the natural world. In the Theravada tradition, or the “Vipassana movement,” the practice of mindfulness serves this purpose by helping one to cut through the net of conceptualization and obtain a fresh and direct encounter with immediate experience. It helps one to make a fresh and direct contact with one’s experience through the senses, to come back into the present moment, to make more direct contact with the workings of one’s own mind, and thereby to have fresher and more vital, more dynamic, more enriching human relationships. And so mindfulness meditation is seen as the technique that takes us back to the concrete experience of actuality, to actuality which is always fresh at every moment. For most people this is quite a startling revelation.

     

    Now this function of mindfulness is common both to classical Buddhism and to meditation practice as taught within the lay Vipassana movement.1 Given that this function of mindfulness is common to the two, we can raise the questions: “Why does the lay Vipassana movement remain primarily a lay Vipassana movement? Why doesn’t it evolve towards a monastic Sangha? Why doesn’t it look towards a monastic Sangha as a ‘polestar’ providing the ideal towards which its members should be striving?” And we can ask: “Is there a significant difference between the style of mindfulness meditation as taught within the lay Vipassana movement and mindfulness meditation as taught within a classical monastic-based system?”

     

    As a way of answering this question, I want to go back and take another look at the type of suffering that Dharma practice is intended to address, at what I have called existential suffering, the sense of lack, the sense of meaninglessness, the feeling of alienation. Now, from the perspective of classical Buddhism, this sense of lack or voidness of meaning would be seen as emblematic, that is it would be seen as pointing beyond itself to the intrinsic and ever-present unsatisfactory nature of samsaric existence itself. And when this is seen, when this is recognized, a practitioner’s natural response would be to head in the direction of renunciation, to leave behind the home life and to set out for the homeless life, seeking to solve the great problem of birth and death. If, however, one doesn’t yet have the strength to go forth into homelessness, or if one’s conditions aren’t suitable for taking this step, one would practice at home with a mind that slants in the direction of renunciation that inclines in the direction of renunciation, and looks towards renunciation as a worthy goal. And if one cannot practice at home with a mind that slants to renunciation, one would still naturally respect and revere those who have left the household life and taken up the homeless life; one would be full of admiration for those who have exchanged the garments of the householder for the ochre brown- maroon robe of the Buddhist monk or nun. One would recognize these virtuous and dedicated monks and nuns as the ones who represent the ideals and aspirations of Buddhism; one would see them as people who have fulfilled one’s own inner ideals and aspirations. One would revere them as bearing the lifeblood of the Buddha in their veins. One would regard them, as the ancient expression puts it, as truly “a field of merit for the world.” 1 Naturally I’m speaking from the standpoint of the form of Buddhism with which I’m most familiar. In doing so I don’t want to marginalize those who are coming from other Buddhist traditions, but I actually want you to relate what I’m saying here to your own traditions, because I’m sure the same transformation that is affecting the Theravada tradition is affecting other Buddhist traditions. I believe the Zen tradition has been strongly affected by this trend, and I believe the same trend can be observed in the presentations of Tibetan Buddhism that use Dzogchen and Mahamudra as their main meditation vehicles. It seems the Gelug tradition has been somewhat immune from this because they generally stress the need to obtain a comprehensive view of the Dharma beginning from the fundamentals.

     

    However, for the sense of existential suffering to give rise to this perception of what I call the “intrinsic and ever-existing unsatisfactory nature of samsaric existence,” two additional factors are needed. What are these two additional factors? One of these is faith. In Pali, it’s called saddhā. And what does saddhā mean? It means faith in the Triple Gem: the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha. It means faith in the Buddha as the fully enlightened teacher; faith in the Dharma as the Buddha’s teaching – the full teaching, not just a selection of sayings, cleverly arranged and organized and quoted on occasion, often misquoted according to one’s convenience; and faith in the Sangha. This last doesn’t mean faith in the community of those who are practicing together (which is not the meaning of the word “Sangha”); it means faith, first in the ariyan Sangha, the invisible spiritual community of those who have attained realization of the world-transcending Dharma – and then it’s also faith in the monastic Sangha as a community (though not every monk and nun!)–a community that abides here in this world as the visible, human, embodied representation of the ariyan Sangha.

     

    I have to emphasize that the word saddhā as used in the Buddhist texts–the word we translate as faith–is specifically tied to the Buddha Dharma. It has become fashionable amongst lay Dharma teachers, while knocking down “beliefs,” to extol faith. Faith, however, is then explained in such a way that its link to the Triple Gem is either eroded or fully broken, so that one could have faith in almost anything that’s considered good, sacred, and holy, and it’s still acceptable.

     

    Faith has various aspects; it isn’t synonymous with belief, but one of its aspects is cognitive, and that involves holding certain beliefs. Among them is the belief that the historical Buddha, Gotama of the Sakyan clan, was the fully enlightened Buddha of this historical period; and the belief that his teaching is the teaching that leads to enlightenment and liberation; and the belief that those who have followed and practiced his teaching with a high degree of success have gained world-transcending realization. That is, for classical Buddhism faith is uniquely rooted in the Triple Gem, and rooted in them partly by way of certain beliefs. Faith also involves an emotional component. It involves devotion, and in this case it is devotion directed towards the Triple Gem, above all love and devotion directed towards the Buddha as the human being who has perfectly realized all the noble qualities and ideals expressive of the Dharma; also, as the one who, out of great compassion, has taken up the burden of teaching and transforming obtuse sentient beings like ourselves. I find that this aspect of devotion is conspicuously lacking in the contemporary lay Buddhist scene here in the U.S. With a few exceptions, we hardly see traces of devotion and reverence for the Buddha in any of the popular Western Buddhist journals.

     

    So one factor necessary for this sense of existential suffering to lead to renunciation and the step into the monastic life is faith. The other factor is “right view” (sammā ditthi), and this is a factor on which I want to place a great deal of emphasis. In the classical teachings, there are many levels of right view, but for convenience’s sake we can speak of two kinds. The foundational level is the right view of karma and its fruits, and to properly understand the working of karma and its fruits, one has to consider them in connection with the capacity of our actions to bring forth their results through a sequence of many lives; that is, the right view of karma and its fruit means an understanding, at least in principle, of how karma generates rebirth. Many Americans (and Westerners) are hesitant to accept the teaching of karma and rebirth because they aren’t part of Western culture. Some even boldly proclaim that this is part of the “cultural baggage” of Asian Buddhism that we have to drop in order to forge a new “American (or Western) Buddhism” that will be meaningful to people here in the West. Again, they sometimes argue that such teachings as those on karma and rebirth are just shackles of dogma and belief with which the Buddhists of Asia   have bound themselves. Today, it’s said, we have outgrown religious dogmas and beliefs; we want to become totally free, in the present, and this means we must become free of all those Asian Buddhist dogmas and beliefs.

     

    My response to this is to offer an analogy. Suppose in India a new university were being founded and they would plan to open a physics department. Would the physics professors start to debate among themselves whether they should be teaching the Newtonian laws of motion, or the laws of thermodynamics, or Einsteinian relativity theory? Suppose some professor among them would stand up and say, “These laws and theories come from the West. They aren’t part of our cultural heritage. We shouldn’t be obliged to teach them in our university. They are part of the cultural baggage of the West that we have to drop when we teach physics in Asia.” The other professors would look at him and think he’s gone mad. Before they dropped the teaching of these physical laws, they would certainly drop him from the department. Why so? Because the laws of physics aren’t taught just because they are part of someone’s cultural heritage. They are taught because they explain phenomena that are universally true, because they are just as valid in Beijing, Calcutta, Nairobi, and Istanbul as they are in London, New York, or Buenos Aires. And that is the meaning of physics.

     

    So too, the teachings of karma and rebirth are intended to explain the universal laws of the moral life; they explain laws that are vitally important to us, since they are the laws that govern our future destiny from life to life, the laws that underlie our movements through beginningless samsara and that govern the whole process by which one progresses from the state of a deluded worldling to that of a liberated arahant or a perfectly enlightened Buddha. These teachings (at least the oldest versions of them) come from the Buddha himself. They were part of the content of his enlightenment, and he taught them to human beings for a good reason. These laws teach us how to make basic ethical decisions in our daily lives; they steer us away from evil and guide us towards the good; they form the backbone of Buddhist spirituality. They are intrinsic to the very meaning of the Dharma. Without gaining some insight into these laws, thinking, “Just by being mindful of the present I can attain the highest realizations,” one will be like a man who goes to a lake with a sieve, thinking to use it to collect water and fill his bucket. In the end, he will go back home with an empty bucket.

     

    Therefore, the right view of karma and rebirth — of karma as a force that generates repeated existence in the round of birth and death — is the fundamental background right view against which the second type of right view derives its full meaning. The second type of right view — the higher right view that leads to liberation — is the right view of the Four Noble Truths. And now I’m going to make a statement that might again sound a little bold, but I’ll make it all the same: The Four Noble Truths cannot be taught properly, cannot be understood properly, unless they are taught and understood against the background of the right view of karma and its fruits, against the background of an understanding of how karma brings renewed existence, against the background of a comprehensive understanding of our samsaric predicament. I would add, though, as an aside, that when introducing the Buddha’s teaching to people relatively new to Buddhism, one has to make adjustments. One can’t lay the teaching of karma and rebirth on novice students as a necessary article of belief as soon as they enter the door for a first talk on Buddhism. Thus, I believe, as a general principle one can give — and indeed, one should give — what I would call an “adaptive” or ”accommodative” presentation of the Four Noble Truths, as the Buddha himself did on occasion, without bringing in rebirth; one doesn’t have to frighten people away at once by bringing in teachings they aren’t prepared to accept. So one can give a psychological presentation of the four truths, showing how experiential suffering arises and ceases in relation to our craving and clinging.  This will enable people to get a grip on the Buddha’s teachings as something that can be verified, at least in part, within their present experience. But once their confidence becomes established in the teaching, one should lead them on to a wider, more complete understanding of the Dharma.

     

    Therefore, I would say, if one wants to give a truly comprehensive, fully adequate explanation of the Four Noble Truths, a presentation that treats them in depth, one has to bring in the right view of karma and its fruits as the background and to treat the Four Noble Truths as a diagnosis of our samsaric predicament. If one wants to clearly explain how the five aggregates of clinging are dukkha in the deepest sense, one has to explain how these five aggregates are ”acquired” again and again through our craving for new existence. If one wants to explain, again in the deepest sense, how craving functions as the second noble truth, the cause of dukkha, one has to explain how craving (tanhā) is ponobhavika, productive of renewed existence. And if one wants to make it clear how the elimination of craving brings about the cessation of dukkha, of suffering, again one has to explain how the removal of craving brings the round of repeated existence to an end, leading to the unconditioned peace and freedom of nibbāna. If one doesn’t do this for people who are ready for it, whose minds are ripe, then one is not leading them to an adequate understanding of the Dharma. If one keeps on feeding them adaptive presentations of the Dharma, feeding them teachings and practices that are designed to enrich their lives, but does not steer them towards the ultimate truth that transcends life and death, steer them towards a vision of the face of the Deathless, then one is not serving as a fully responsible transmitter of the Dharma.

     

    What is happening today, within what is broadly called “the Theravada tradition,” is that the Dharma is being taught primarily on the basis of the equation: “Dharma equals mindfulness meditation equals bare attention.” Mindfulness meditation is thus being taken out of its original context, the context of the full Noble Eightfold Path–which includes right view as I explained it above, and also right intention as including the intention of renunciation, and right morality as including various factors of restraint over bodily and verbal behavior, and right effort as an endeavor to transform the mind through the abandoning of unwholesome qualities and the development of wholesome qualities–and it is instead being taught as a means for the heightening and intensification of experience simply through being attentive to what is occurring in the present moment. This is the way that the sense of existential malaise that I spoke of earlier is being ameliorated; this is how the alienation from direct experience is being overcome, namely, by using mindfulness meditation as a bridge to take us back to the living experience of the present moment. So because we in the West have become trapped in our conceptual constructs, because our society and civilization have become overwhelmed by our own project of trying to master the world by schemes of conceptual interpretation, we seek refuge in the non-conceptuality of bare mindfulness practice as a means to greater peace and inner fulfillment. We come back into direct contact with our own experience by paying attention to what is happening on each occasion of experience, which leads to what I call “the heightening and intensification of experience.” This mode of practice, I say, does lead to greater peace and inner freedom. What is in question, though, is whether it can intrinsically lead to the ultimate peace and perfect freedom that the practice of the Dharma is intended to bring. And the answer that I have come to, based on my own understanding, is that on its own it can’t. Right mindfulness, which is more than just bare attention, occurs in the full context of the Noble Eightfold Path, and presupposes faith, right understanding, right intentions, right conduct, and various other factors.

     

    From the fact that the practice of mindfulness meditation brings what I call “a deeper and clearer appreciation of direct experience,” I want to draw what might strike you as a startling conclusion: as long as mindfulness meditation is being taught in this way, monasticism will necessarily appear to be just one option among others. The monastic life and the household life will appear to be equally viable options; the celibate life and the life of one engaged in an ethical sexual relationship will seem equally valid ways of living in accordance with the Dharma. In fact, it might even be argued that for a Dharma practitioner the household life is actually more challenging, and therefore richer and more rewarding. Why so? Because the monastic life creates artificial boundaries between the sacred and the secular; it erects walls between the worldly and the worldtranscending; it cuts one off from possibilities of new experience; it prevents one from finding new opportunities to apply mindfulness to daily life. And thus, the argument goes, it is therefore a narrower, more constricted, more constricting, more impoverished lifestyle, a more disempowering lifestyle than that of the earnest lay practitioner.

     

    If this were true, though, there would have been no reason for the Buddha to establish a monastic order of celibate monks and nuns. To see why he did so, let us take another metaphor. Now, if one doesn’t present a broad and clear overview of the Dharma, the celibate life and the life of marital commitment within the bounds of the precepts will seem just like alternative stepping stones leading across the stream. But if one does present a broad and clear overview of the Dharma, then they won’t appear simply as alternative stepping stones. Within a comprehensive picture of the Dharma, if one knows what the “near shore” is, and what the “far shore” is, and how the different stepping stones fit together to lead from the near shore to the far shore, it will then become perfectly evident that the life of marital commitment within the bounds of the precepts is a stepping stone that is necessarily closer to the “near shore” than the celibate life, which is necessarily closer to the “far shore.” This is not to make judgments about the spiritual stature of the people involved in these lifestyles; for it is certainly the case that a person involved in a marital relationship guided by the precepts might be spiritually more advanced than a celibate person. I’m speaking not about individual cases, but about the lifestyles themselves: about celibacy vs. the ethical non-celibate life. Given that the cause of our bondage to samsāra is craving, and that craving for sensual pleasures is one type of craving, and that sexual passion is one of the most powerful manifestations of sensual craving–perhaps the most powerful–it follows that to indulge in sexual passion is to bind oneself to “this shore,” the cycle of birth and death, with one of the most powerful bonds conceivable. Given that the “far shore,” or nibbāna, is dispassion (virāga), and that the observance of celibacy is a means to curb lust or passion (rāga), it follows that the celibate life is potentially a more effective means towards the realization of the ultimate goal. Since monasticism is grounded upon celibacy, it therefore follows that monasticism is in principle more conducive to the ultimate goal of the Dharma than a lay life guided by the precepts. Again, this is not to make judgments about particular individuals, but simply about the broad contours of lifestyles. It might still happen that a lay person might be far more diligent than a monk or nun; it could even happen that at any time lay Buddhists as a whole are living more admirable spiritual lives than the members of the monastic Sangha. But this still does not negate my general principle.

     

    It seems to me that what has happened in the Theravada tradition–with perhaps parallel developments in other traditions–is that a particular Buddhist practice, namely the practice of mindfulness meditation, has been uprooted from its classical context and then taught against a different background. It is taught to people who, though they might have rejected the mechanistic world view of modern science, have minds that are still largely shaped by that same world view. It is taught to people who, though they may say that they don’t adopt any new “ism” including Buddhism, are still largely subscribing to the world view of materialism, even if they don’t want to admit it. At any rate, they often take an attitude of agnosticism, which is still an “ism.” And this is going to shape their experience of Buddhist meditation, to shape the way they appropriate Buddhist meditation, so that meditation will no longer be functioning as a liberative discipline in the traditional sense, but as a therapeutic technique. It may not be a psychotherapy narrowly conceived, but it will still be an existential therapy intended to reconcile the individual to conditioned existence by opening up greater prospects of fulfillment within conditioned existence; it won’t transform itself into a path to emancipation from the limitations, the finitude, the flaws and faults of conditioned existence itself. It will be serving as a therapy for the sense of meaninglessness, the feeling of existential emptiness, that modern civilization has left as its legacy. It won’t be a way that transcends all therapeutic functions, a way that obliterates the kilesas, the defilements and delusions, at their root; a way that leads altogether beyond the vicious round of birth and death.

     

    I want to briefly give one example of this. It concerns the contemplation of impermanence. Now for both the lay Vipassana teachers and for monastic Theravada Buddhism based on the Pali Canon, impermanence implies: “Don’t cling. If you cling to anything, you will undergo suffering.” But the two draw different conclusions from this thesis, indeed, almost contrary conclusions. For canonical Buddhism, impermanence is the passageway to a radical understanding of the dukkhalakkhana, the mark of suffering. “Whatever is impermanent is dukkha; whatever is impermanent, dukkha, and subject to change, that should be seen thus: ‘This is not mine, this I am not, this is not my self.’” Therefore, whatever there is among the five aggregates, the noble disciple sees this all as ”not mine, not I, not my self.” Seeing it thus, one becomes disenchanted with it. Being disenchanted, there comes dispassion. Through dispassion, there is liberation. And liberation (vimutti) here means the release of the mind from the primordial defilements, the āsavas and samyojanas, and release from the cycle of rebirths. But many lay Vipassana meditators see the fact of impermanence as a fact imbued with positive significance. True, to cling to what is impermanent brings suffering. But, it is said, one can immerse oneself fully in the impermanent without clinging to anything, and this is the lesson that is often drawn. So the fact that clinging to the impermanent brings suffering means that one should live in the world and experience everything with awe and wonder, “dancing with the ten thousand things without clinging to them.” Once again, we are led through the practice of mindfulness to a new affirmation and appreciation of the world. From the standpoint of classical Buddhism, this turns out to be a subtle re-affirmation of samsāra. Wisdom and compassion are the two “wings” of Buddhism, the two most excellent virtues, wisdom being the crowning intellectual virtue, compassion the crowning virtue of our affective nature. I want to hold that deep faith and right view are also necessary conditions for compassion to be brought to its fulfillment. Now compassion has many degrees and kinds, but for compassion to reach fullness and depth of development, it has to be grounded upon right view as a keen perception of the dangers and inherent unsatisfactoriness of conditioned existence. Without this perception, one can develop compassion towards those who are subject to the manifold types of experiential suffering — and of course there are countless numbers of beings undergoing such types of suffering all the time, so we are never deprived of opportunities to practice compassion — but our compassion still won’t reach its fullest and deepest dimensions. This only becomes possible when we take into account the boundless extent of samsaric suffering, the subtle fetters that keep beings tied to the round of becoming, and the hidden dangers that ever lurk before these beings (who, we are told, may well have been our mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters in countless past lives) as they move from life to life.

     

    I believe that for monastic Buddhism to take root and become properly established, what is needed is a laity that has an intrinsic respect for monastics, and for lay people to develop this respect, two themes that must be emphasized again and again in the teaching of the Dharma are faith and right view. Perhaps we shouldn’t begin with heavy doses of Buddhism pietism and  teachings on the intricacies of Buddhist cosmology; but when the time is right to do so, we also have to be straightforward and unabashed in teaching people. Otherwise we will just become robed and shaven-headed teachers of mindfulness meditation, similar to our lay colleagues, and then the main difference will be that lay people will find greater affinity with the lay teachers, who can speak to them at a more intimate level of shared experience of the household life. Another theme we have to emphasize, without any fear or hesitation, is the contributions that monastics have made to the survival of the Dharma. We shouldn’t hesitate to speak about how the Buddha Dharma has survived down the centuries through the self-sacrificing efforts of monks and nuns, who had the courage and earnestness to give up the pleasures of mundane life and dedicate themselves fully to the cause of Buddhism, surrendering their very persons to the Triple Gem. And we have to draw the inevitable corollary: If the proper Dharma is to take root and flourish here in America, we need Americans to come forward and make that courageous move. Not just because it is “more conducive to their practice,” but because they truly have been swept off their feet by the Dharma and want to offer their lives to the Dharma in every respect. It is when lay people encounter monks and nuns leading lives of selfless dedication that they can appreciate the beauty and value of the monastic life, revere it, and bring forth a mind of generosity to support those who have entered its fold. I also want to add some concluding observations regarding the situation of lay Buddhists here in America. I don’t think that we should expect lay people today to revert to the roles of lay people in a traditional Buddhist culture, that is, to see their roles to be simply devout supporters of the monastic Sangha, providing their material necessities as a way of earning merit for a future birth; nor do I think this is desirable. I think in today’s world, lay people have much richer opportunities to lead a fuller Dharma life, and as monks and nuns we have to rejoice in this opportunity and try to encourage them. We should be of service to help them to realize their full potential as Dharma practitioners and teachers. We live at a time when people want and need to experience the concrete benefits to which the Dharma can lead, and they should have every chance to do so. This is a time when lay people will have more leisure and opportunity to participate in long-term meditation retreats, to study the Dharma in depth, and to live lifestyles that will approximate to those of monastics. This is also a time when there will be lay people who have the knowledge, experience, and communicative skills needed to teach the Dharma. Much thought has to be given to the task of establishing roles for lay Buddhists that can tap their talents, and we will have to adjust the social forms of Buddhism to the new conditions we find ourselves in today. We simply can’t expect Western Buddhism to imitate Asian Buddhism. And yet, I feel, for the true Dharma to flourish as the Buddha himself had envisaged it, a healthy development of Western Buddhism will have to preserve the position of the monastic Sangha as the torch-bearers of the Dharma. I say this, of course, not to try to reserve certain privileges for ourselves, so that we can sit up on high seats and wield fans with our names inscribed on them and get addressed with elegant and polite terms, but because I’m convinced that it was the Buddha’s intention that the full monastic ordination with the opportunities and responsibilities it offers are necessary for the true Dharma to survive in the world. And this means that, in each major Buddhist tradition, we will need more people of talent and dedication to come forth, take ordination, receive proper training, and then reach a point where they can give training to the next generation of monks and nuns. In this way, the Dharma will be able to reproduce itself from one generation to the next.

    March 15, 2012

    Return

    I just turned 50- a milestone year and time of transformation for me. Instead of having a birthday party, I created a birthing ceremony. Surrounded by dear friends, we ceremoniously interacted with elements of conditioning, transformation and emergence. Part of me has been trapped by my own discipline as I had become identified with and attached to the forms that were intended for liberation. Acknowledging the transformation that is taking place and returning to essential principles, I feel a joyous emergence.

    I was in Michigan – a second home with many senior Dharma teachers, advisors and close friends that I cherish. Alongside having time for personal retreat another highlight was co-leading Touching the Earth retreat with my dear friend and colleague Aura Glaser. It was a joy to see how well our different teaching styles blended and see Aura emerging in her new platform that she founded: Inner Sky.

    Now I am back in Colorado Springs. The snow is dusting the peaks. The buds have not yet appeared on the trees, but bulbs planted a year and half ago in front of the stupa are emerging for the first time. A solitary crocus blooms- a splash of yellow against the red earth and rocks. Mostly the days have been warm and the nights and early morning air is biting against the skin. The high altitude desert climate is easeful for my lungs, bones and joints. The aromas of pine and juniper are in the air. I intend to be here for a few years.  I feel like I have come home. Being able to unpack, knowing local neighbors, postman, animals and the rocks in the area; knowing where the bike paths go are orienting. All support the belly relaxing and deep breaths.

    Shakti Vihara, the name of the hermitage where I am, means the dwelling of the divine feminine. The hermitage has changed significantly since I last lived here over a year ago. With sleeping lofts, an opened ceiling and completely new kitchen and bathroom it is more spacious. With larger windows – more light. The empty lots front and back are a refuge for herds of deer. Situated within walking distance of the Garden of the Gods and within view and under the energy of Pikes Peak – a sacred 14,000 foot high mountain – it is conducive for meditation, writing and sharing Dhamma- all things I do.

    The mountain and these ancient rocks are aligned with another time frame and different cycles and imbue stillness that speaks to me against the noise and bustle of city life. They remind me that when I have attention suffused in my body I feel connected to the world and can rest attention in awareness that is all inclusive.

    My joy in returning is accentuated by the challenge of what has preceded it. Picking up threads of the story – last October I was again exposed to mold. This triggered a cascade of health issues including sensitivities to chemicals, fragrances and fumes.  I was due to move into Shakti Vihara the end of December but couldn’t as the chemical loading was still too high from the renovations. Once again I was in the care of friends. Gratefully, there is a lot of kindness in this world and people were accommodating. From the number of places I have stayed, I have come to understand why so many people with chemical sensitivities are living in tents – chemically neutral housing is extremely rare. The longing for safe accommodation and a place to settle loomed large.

    After a concerted team effort to get the place ready in December, there was another effort needed to move it towards chemical neutrality for my return in March. Ray Ferguson, the owner of the hermitage, the board members of Awakening Truth and the Against the Stream – Dharma Punx groups in Colorado Springs, Denver and local friends were the mainstays of this effort. Being imbued with so much care and community collaboration it is more love and light filled than ever. Tears were close to the surface the first days when I came home. It has felt like an epic journey to return.

    Being situated near community committed to awakening, family, ancient rocks and sacred mountains helps me breathe in a way that that lets all the air out and the muscles in my back relax.  Here I unwind. My joy and gratitude run deep.

     

    This journey towards health has given me an opportunity to learn new things about mind and body and my response mechanisms. To illustrate, I share one particular event.

     

    To illustrate, I share one particular event.

    One night I got into a bed with fresh sheets that had fabric softener in them. My body reacted very strongly.  When the body perceives something dangerous, the response is often to fight, get away or freeze. I froze. My reaction was disproportionate to the reality of the danger.  Noticing the initial somatic response I then checked discernment.  Oscillating attention from the sensations and breathing patterns accompanying the “freeze” into an open awareness that was aware of them, I talked myself into having more choices. I got up and took the sheets off the bed. The reactivity in my body was still very high and by holding sedating points on my arms and legs, I began to relax. But by morning I was still shaky. I coaxed myself gently onto my bike and rode away. Using my legs to escape the danger shifted the freeze into a flight response and was profoundly restorative; the fresh air medicinal. When the freeze response dissipated sufficiently, I opened my attention outward into a loving field of all pervasive awareness. This touched the remaining contraction in the body and moved past it allowing tension to further release. From there, tolerance to what was initially perceived as poisonous increased. I felt more peaceful and able to respond. Learning how to lean in to what is painful, stabilize attention in love and let go has been a theme that has been running through many aspects of my life.

    Both my parents are in their 80’s and feeling the effects of age. Mom lives in California and Dad lives here in Colorado Springs with my brother David and his extended family. Dad has had many trips to hospital in the past weeks.  For now, Dad is comfortable. While many of his health conditions that took him into hospital are improving and his humor, determination to live strong and his intellect sharp, the trend is indicative of an increasing need for care. My brother is shouldering the majority of his care. I am glad that I can be here now so we can all share together and support each other in this unfolding. Yet as I see the difficult choices that our family faces,  I long for a Dhamma village where elders can live in community and be cared for as their needs increase and their independence wanes.

    At my Bhikkhuni ordination, Mom was lovingly instructed from that time forward it was suitable for her to call me Venerable. When we got back to her apartment she had a long conversation with her dog, “What do you think Lacy about this Venerable?  Lacy, how do you like the Venerable? What do you think about calling her Venerable?” If you knew my mom; how vivacious, progressive and highly emotionally and socially intelligent she is, it would accentuate the humor of the moment. What it does reveal, however, is some of the territory we navigate in bringing this monastic form that came from a different time and culture into our modern world. This event with my mom happened a year and half ago and has given me pause for thought on many interactions that followed. I saw how I could use my robes and stature as a Bhikkhuni to separate myself from others in a way that didn’t serve a direct and heartfelt connection.  Born from the simple longing to find a form of address that is friendly, respectful and mutual, I have been referring to myself as Amma since one of its meanings is ‘dear one’.  If you feel at ease using it, good. If not call me what you are comfortable with. I feel your respect and caring conveyed energetically and in the tone of your voice- not in the labels and forms of address that you use.

    News of Nun’s on the world stage: My preceptor, Ayya Tathaaloka ordained three Bhikkhunis in October at Spirit Rock, California and two Bhikkhunis March 1 at Dhammasara in Australia. What joy to be part of the Spirit Rock ordination welcoming Ayya Anandabodhi, Ayya Santacitta as well Ayya Medhanandi’s disciple Venerable Nimala into the Bhikkhuni Sangha! Having spent so many years together at Amaravati the web of our connections and history grows ever richer.  Ayya Santacitta received recognition in Thailand as an outstanding woman in Buddhism- wonderful! Anagarika[i] Aloka who I enjoyed sharing vassa[ii] with at Mahapajapati Monastery is now a Samaneri[iii]. As nuns find more foothold, the choices for women to practice open up and female teachers have more voice.

    Now that I have settled in, I am set up to be more of support. I have a special shrine set up in direct view of the mountain – my favorite place to meditate in Shakti Vihara- as a way to focus blessings on anyone in need. Send names if you want your family or friends or certain global problems to be part of that.

    Sunday Satsang- Dharma Conference calls have resumed. Anyone can join in- even those of you overseas to talk about practice, meditation and how you are using them in your life. All are welcome.

    •  Conference Phone Number: USA (605) 477-2100 Access Code: 663167#
    •  Every Sunday unless calendar states otherwise
    • Time: California: 9 AM; Colorado: 10 AM;  East Coast: 12 noon; London: 4 PM; Delhi: 9:30 PM

    The phone number and time zones and other teaching events will also be posted on the website.

    Each of us is part of an unfolding journey both as an individual and within a web of connections. Every moment is an opportunity to bring the depth of what we know and love into this world through living with presence, care and integrity. Doing this we imbue the craziness of the world with peace. When I live this way, I feel content.

    Amma Thanasanti

    15 Columbia Road, Colorado Springs, CO 80904 / info@awakeningtruth.org / www.awakeningtruth.org

     

    There are new systems in place if you want to support: sign up for the Lotsa Helping Hands website to offer meals and rides. If you are out of town contact Darcie, dmankell@hotmail.com, 719 439-4448. The dana list[iv] is updated regularly. You can also support by sharing with us how you are touched by what we are doing here. We all like to know.

     

    Facebook forums are also a way to share information and discuss Dhamma: Awakening Truth (discussion group) Awakening Truth (New Facebook page updates from website) Amma Thanasanti (personal)

     

     

     

     



    [i] Anagarika- 8 precept postulant

    [ii] Vassa-The three month retreat period that takes place from July to October.

    [iii] Samaneri-Ten precept nun that is the novice training before becoming a Bhikkhuni

    [iv] Dana list- list of food and house hold items that are needed.

    March 10, 2012

    Bhikkhuni Ordination at Dhammasara, Perth Australia

     

    Letter from my preceptor Ayya Tathaaloka:

     

    Warm greetings, dear friends, from the wild bush of Western Australia in the hot season,

    It is very nice to be here woken by the soft thump of kangaroo paws passing,  warm breezes wafting over burnt red desert-like earth fragrant with eau de eucalyptus forest.  A new reliquary stupa rises atop ancient and majestic granite outcropping across the canyon from my kuti window, and another on the opposite side, crossing what will be the new Dhammasala – the heart of the monastery.  This is Dhammasara, our Australian sister monastery, in the legendary land of the ancient Buddha Kassapa, from way back when this continent had not yet broken off from Jambudvipa, now India.  It is a wonderful, comfortable place for meditation.

    This coming week there are planned auspicious happenings here in addition to the auspiciousness that blesses the days full of sila, samadhi and panna, generosity and loving-kindness here.

    We heard yesterday that the root sapling of the Anuradhapura Bodhi tree gifted to the Bhikkhuni Sangha at the end of this past year is now ready to be released from Australian quarantine, and may finally be able to arrive here at the monastery this Monday.  You can imagine the delight of the community here that it will now be able to pass immigration and arrive at its new home after so long waiting.

    The day before yesterday we also had the chance to meet with Ajahn Brahm at Bodhinyana, the bhikkhus’ monastery out the other side of Perth.   He gave a lovely talk in dedication to Dhammadharini, our Aranya Bodhi Hermitage and our women’s monastic community.  He also gave his enthusiastic blessings to the proposed full ordination of samaneri sisters Nissara and Pasada who are here at Dhammasara with me now, and whom the monastic community here also so supports.

    Samaneri Nissara is a Thai international, a writer and correspondent of several years who I gave samaneri ordination to in Thailand when I visited the Nirotharam bhikkhuni vipassana meditation center outside Chiang Mai two years ago.  She is a longterm student of Ajahn Brahm’s and has been training with bhikkhuni meditation master Ajahn Nanthayani at Nirotharam the past three years.  Samaneri Pasada has been a student of Bhante Sujato’s these past few years at Santi Forest Monastery here in Australia’s Southern Highlands.  She hopes to be able to come and spend this coming three-month Vassa-time Retreat here with us at Aranya Bodhi, so I hope you may all have a chance to meet her.

    The ordination is not planned to be such a great and enormous event as the last ordination of venerables Ajahn Anandabodhi, Ajahn Santacitta and Nimmala at Spirit Rock, but rather much more small, quiet, and dare I say “normal”.  What I mean by normal is that it has been such a big deal to go ahead with women’s full ordination in the Theravada because it has been paused for so long.  But now that the path is becoming clear and well-trodden again there is not so much circumstantial need for such big road clearing equipage every time, albeit so beautiful and auspicious.  This is a great relief.  We can began to move towards just doing simply what is normal in Vinaya: ordaining women timely according to Vinaya with a local Bhikkhu and Bhikkhuni Sangha, quietly and peacefully.  Of course, time by time, according to human culture, embellishments may decorate the bare framework of the essentials, but that is just a happy option unique to the inspiration of each circumstance, no requirement.

    This ordination will be the first to happen here at Dhammasara and the first to happen here with the participation of the local resident Bhikkhuni Sangha as essential part of the Ordaining Sangha.  This is a lovely part of the moving ahead of this monastery and of the women’s monastic community here, towards truly having their own self-training and self-ordaining domestic women’s monastic Sangha.  But not only is their monastic community developing, they are now moving actively towards developing for the lay community as well.  The building of a new larger capacity Dhamma/Dana-Sala complex is beginning to move forward now.  This will not only allow for more people to be able to come and listen to the Dhamma teachings and join in programs together, but also for lay friends to be able to come and stay on retreat for periods of time at the monastery.  The new complex will have not only have a spacious sala, parking lot and public toilet facilities beneath the two stupas, but is also planned to have six new accommodation “pods” for lay men and women retreatants built into it, a long-desired addition to the monastery.

    So, all things being impermanent, all these things are dreams of the near future, taking form in the worlds of our consciousnesses now.  But in this moment, there is just the soft and dry afternoon breeze rustling through eucalyptus bows and a quiet and fresh peacefulness.  It is a blessing to be here.

    I wish to share these peaceful blessings with you, that you too may be a part of them, hoping you too are well and happy.

    With loving kindness,

    Ayya Tathaaloka, in Dhamma

    PS. If you’d like to know more about the Dhammasara Sala Project, please look for “Sala Appeal” on the Dhammasara www.dhammasara.or.au website.  Dhammasara is supported and is a part of the Buddhist Society of Western Australia (BSWA), which has also kindly shared in supporting us.  It is my hope that we may all support one another.

    November 9, 2011

    Occupy Samsara

    An Open Letter from Buddhist and Yoga Teachers and Leaders in Support of the Occupy Movement.

    Reposted with permision from Ethan Nichtern.  http://occupysamsara.org/

     

    As teachers and leaders of communities that promote the development of compassion and mindfulness, we are writing to express our solidarity with the Occupy movement now active in over 1,900 cities worldwide.

    We are particularly inspired by the nonviolent tactics of this movement, its methods of self-governance, and its emergent communities founded in open communication (general assemblies, the human microphone, the inclusion of diverse voices, etc). These encampments are fertile ground for seeing our inherent wisdom and our capacity for awakening.

    We encourage all teachers, leaders, sanghas and communities that pursue awakening to join with these inspiring activists, if they have not already done so, in working to end the extreme inequalities of wealth and power that cause so much suffering and devastation for human society and for the ecosystems of Earth.

    This movement has given voice to a near-universal frustration with the economic and political disenfranchisement of so many. It offers a needed counterbalance to a system that saps the life energy of the overwhelming majority –– the so-called 99% – generating vast profits for a tiny handful, without maximizing the true potential for widespread wealth creation in our society. While our practice challenges us to cultivate compassion for 100% of human beings without villifying an “enemy,” our practice also calls on us to confront a system that causes such clear harm and imbalance.

    We share in the thoughtful calls to address massive unemployment, climate change, the erosion of social safety nets, decaying infrastructures, social and education programs, and workers’ wages, rights, and benefits.Moreover, the current legal structure of large corporations compels individuals to act with shortsighted greed, acts for which they are not held personally accountable. If we aren’t encouraged to act with awareness of our connection to the seven billion humans who share our global community, the social fabric of our society is torn apart by legalized acts of selfishness and fear.

    These acts are performed in human society, by nonhuman entities, oddly granted the legal and political status of people, which have no ability to adequately perceive or react to the negative repercussions of their choices. The whole planet pays the price.

    Most importantly, we believe that individual awakening and collective transformation are inseparable. For members of spiritual communities, mindfulness of the situation before us demands that we engage fully in the culture and society we inhabit. We do not view our own path as merely an individualistic pursuit of sanity and health, and we believe it would be irresponsible of us to teach students of mind/body disciplines that they can develop their practice in isolation from the society in which they live. We are inspired by the creative and intellectual work of the Occupy movement as an essential voice in facilitating a more compassionate and ecologically grounded basis for practice.

    The Occupy movement has re-ignited our belief that it’s truly possible to build a culture of non-harm, honesty and respect for all creatures. We recognize our human failings and know that we’ll fail ten thousand times in our efforts to awaken. We now vow to bring our practices and methods of teaching more into alignment with our deepest values.

    The structural greed, anger and delusion that characterize our current system are incompatible with our obligations to future generations and our most cherished values of interdependence, creativity, and compassion.  We call on teachers and practitioners from all traditions of mind/body awakening to join in actively transforming these structures.

    Signed,

    Ethan Nichtern, Shastri, New York

    Shôken Michael Stone, Toronto

    September 2, 2011

    Extraordinary Women

    September 2 is the anniversary of being a nun for 20 years. I take this time to pay homage to some of the extraordinary women who have directly and indirectly guided me to the path where I am now.  I write as a prelude to International Bhikkhuni Day on Sept 17.

    My first memory thinking about the way important women influenced my life was when I was about 10 and we were driving to Sea World in Long Beach California. My stepmother, Barbara, asked me and my brother to think of 3 men and 3 women that we would have wanted to meet or be like. The women that I thought of were Anne Frank, Helen Keller and Mother Theresa. Barbara was not impressed. She was hoping I would come up with people who were more glamorous or sexy and asked me if I could think of any like that. When I couldn’t she eventually asked me why I these women came to mind and I remember saying something like,  “Anne never lost faith in peoples goodness, Helen never lost courage, and Mother Theresa never lost capacity in seeing beauty and divinity in others.”

    I was shocked at first by how silent she was after I spoke. Then I realized I am not someone who is into glamor and movie stars. Barbara helped me see that I respond to a different drummer and what I thought and believed was very different from what the people around me valued. In this way she inadvertently taught me a great deal.

    As a teenager, I discovered Peace Pilgrim from hearing about her after she had died. In her late 50’s she set out with her only possessions the clothes on her back and a few stamps and comb in her pocket. She set out to walk for peace, determined to eat only when food was offered and sleep only when shelter was provided. She lived her life like this until she died in her 70’s. Her willingness to be on the road, live on the faith, have very few needs and speak her truth touched me deeply. Living in the way that she did she continues to live on in my heart and serve as a constant inspiration of faith and the positive possibility in homelessness.

    Having lived at Amaravati and Chithurst Buddhist monasteries for 20 years I met many extraordinary women. It would be a very long list for me to recount everyone.  I would want to share what I learned from each of the sisters that I have lived with. I would want you to know her unique ways, gifts, and the way she influenced me. I would want to tell you about the committed lay practioners I have been in close association with. I would love to convey the depth of community feeling that can occur and the ways of knowing each other living in the way that we did- how you often had to shield your thoughts so that sisters didn’t know what you were thinking- how small acts of kindness happened as a matter of routine, the magic of birthday trays- treasures appearing from nothing- and to be able to give some texture to the depth of friendships and the challenges that we navigated.  I would want to share all this but it would be a whole book.

    Most of the sisters I lived with over the years, the Anagarikas and the Siladharas have left the robes. It was the power of their presence, insight, compassion, intuition and ability to play when it was needed or listen if that was needed that created the fabric of our connection. What I appreciated the most was the sisters ability to have deep insight and stay in empathetic resonance with each other not splitting apart the transcendent from the imminent.  Eventually, I was able to rest into the fabric of our connectedness as a source of strength. Being around others who shared a similar aspiration meant it wasn’t just their actions that inspired me, but the overall sense of purpose in living the life that influenced me as well. What they gave me and still give me as sisters or post monastics now continues to nourish, inspire and sustain me.

    But of all the extraordinary women in my direct spiritual life, Dipa Ma was the personification of one who had accomplished what I aspire to. I had heard about her when I was attending a class taught by Jack Engler on religion at UC Santa Cruz. Jack told us her life story, described her attainments both in concentration and insight as well as some of the psychic powers that she had mastered. He told stories of how she could retrace past lives, would playfully appear through walls or be in two places at once, accelerated time, or how she could manifest things.  I remember being in the lecture hall at UCSC, leaning back in the cool seats listening as if I were on fire. I was compelled with interest and my attention was rapt. I was determined to meet her one day.

    Eight years later in 1987, I was able to fulfill my dream.  I went on a pilgrimage to India got to Calcutta and made my way to the Mahabodhi Society. I walked into the main hall. Directly in front of me was a woman whose back was to me. Her physical stature was tiny, but her presence was so powerful and tangible I was physically taken aback. I asked “Who is that?” Well of course- Dipa Ma.

    I stayed at the Mahabodhi Society with a few friends that I met on retreat. Together, we would walk across town to her humble apartment she shared with her daughter Dipa and her grandson, Rishi. We spent the balmy Calcutta evening meditating with her and asking questions about practice. I felt that even if my life had ended right there, having met Dipa Ma and felt the power of her presence, it would have been enough.

    Occasionally we joined their family gatherings. One of the Barua clan had become financially successful and had a big celebration to bless his new house. The stereo was loud and people gathered and talking excitedly. The atmosphere was buzzing. Dipa Ma walked in front of me calmly through the bustle of all the people heading straight for the Buddha and bowed. For Dipa Ma, life’s sole purpose was awakening. Her actions reflected her priorities. Her unwavering focus helped me refocus mine.

    Being with Dipa Ma was like being in a vast endless ocean of Love. I felt that she saw me deeply, clearly and accurately but no matter what she saw, I felt her acceptance and love. This was most tangible for me when she blessed us when we left her apartment. She would hug us then hold our heads between her two tiny and very loving hands while blowing over our heads as she chanted. I felt as if I were standing under a waterfall with a cascade of love pouring over and through me touching every part of my body heart and mind. From knowing Dipa Ma, I knew what unconditioned love was.

    Dipa Ma was born in an East Bengal village in 1911 as Nani Bala Barua. As was customary for that time and culture, she was betrothed at 12 years of age went to live with her husband Ranjani Ranjan Barua and her in laws. He left for Burma for work as an engineer one week after their marriage when she joined him two years later.

    Dipa Ma’s mother and sister had prepared her for the domestic duties of being a wife. But no one said anything to her about sex. When her husband told her she recoiled in shock and felt terribly ashamed. For one solid year she lived in fear and wouldn’t go anywhere near him. Ranjani was unfailing kind and waited. Eventually they fell deeply in love and later she would describe him as her first teacher. But after many years of marriage no children were conceived. For many people not being able to have children is a loss. But in India it is something akin to a family catastrophe. Her in-laws found another woman for Ranjani to marry which he refused.

    Eventually a child was conceived, borne. Tragically, shortly after birth, this little baby girl died. The grief from the loss deeply affected Dipa Ma and soon after she developed heart disease. Then a healthy girl was born who was called Dipa, meaning “light” thus Dipa Ma means “Dipa’s mother” or the “mother of light”.  Another child was conceived; the all important son was born. Very soon after he was born, he also died plunging Dipa Ma’s into inconsolable grief. Her husband was very attentive but the strain of looking after Dipa Ma, little Dipa and working full time was a lot. Completely unexpectedly, he too suddenly died.  So in a period of 10 years Dipa Ma lost her husband, her health and two children. Both of her parents were dead, India was far away and she was left raising her 7 year old daughter alone.

    All she wanted was to meditate. Finally she did get to a meditation center but she didn’t stay long; a dog clamped its teeth into her leg and she had to leave to get medical treatment. But at home, she continued with her meditation. A few years later, she again found her way to a meditation center. After just six days she experienced the first level of enlightenment. Many of her family and friends noticed that Dipa Ma who had been so sick, depressed and dependent had transformed. Suddenly many of her health issues had resolved and she was radiant, clear, peaceful, and independent. Eventually she was known as one who had uprooted all traces of ill will and desire. Students from all over started coming to learn from her.

    Once Anagarika Munindra, her teacher, was talking to a group of meditation students while it seemed that Dipa Ma was asleep in the back.  One of the students asked why only men were allowed to become Buddha’s. Dipa Ma sat bolt upright and with a very clear and utterly confident voice said, “I can do anything a man can”. It was so out of the blue and so true, that everyone laughed.

    When I remember that Dipa Ma said that “Daughters of the Buddha are fearless,” I soften around my resistance to fear when I tremble with what is arising.

    When I heard Dipa Ma had said that mindfulness and love were the same, something deep in my belly relaxed as if holding these two as separate had created a tension that no longer needed to be there.

    Shortly after that trip to Asia I went to Amaravati in 1989 to become an Anagarika. Once I heard that Dipa Ma had died I wanted to plant a tree in her memory. We planted an oak tree in the ‘Buddha Grove’ for her.  I put Dipa Ma’s photo in the tree, chant and walk around it. As the tree began to grow I noticed that it had a very loving energy.

    I left Amaravati and when I returned years later, I couldn’t remember exactly which was Dipa Ma’s tree. Many  trees had been planted and they all had grown 15-25 feet during the time that I was away. At each of the trees I thought it could be I pressed my back into the trunk.  At one tree I felt my back relax as if touching something soft and comforting and felt like I was standing in a waterfall of love. I knew I was at Dipa Ma’s tree.

    Until Amy Schmidts [1]books were published only a handful of people knew about Dipa Ma and my connection with her. Until recently, the tree was not marked. So when one friend described “the mother tree” at Amaravati, my attention piqued.  I asked more details about where it was. Sure enough, it was the same tree. Without any other context, my friend Kathy had found it by its loving energy and had her own name for it.

    When I reflect on extraordinary women in my life, I have to include my mother. Anyone who knows her would know why. Her vitality, courage and willingness to fight for what she thinks is right has been a profound example and teaching in my life. But her love of life, her insistence on the importance of playing  and her willingness to see everything as a adventure has given me resource and frame of reference that I don’t know where I would be without. It has been a complicated relationship because of the path I have chosen. When I first told her I intended to ordain, it plummeted her into inconsolable grief- gone were the grandchildren and extended family she so deeply longed for from me, gone were dinners together, gone were holidays together or being together in simple ways that mothers and daughters can share. But she has been unfailing supportive throughout all these years. With her unfailing love, and her commitment to do her own work at coming to terms with her own grief- she had to adjust her perspective to meet my lifestyle- her support has guided me.

    Let me share some stories:

    In the mid 90’s Mom came and picked me up at the Land of the Medicine Buddha in the hills outside of Santa Cruz. She took a road which was dangerously narrow and steep. Because she hadn’t seen me in 2 years she was excited. Being excited, she wasn’t paying that close attention to the driving and drove off the side of the road.  The cutaway hillside was extremely steep. The right side of the car sunk into the soft earth. From the angle we were at, I was sure we were going to roll down the hillside and crash into the buildings just below. But we didn’t roll. To my utter amazement we just stopped. Eventually we got out of the car and called for help. The one tow truck had to call for another as it took two trucks to pull the car out. The tow-truck driver said that he had never seen a car at that kind of angle not roll.

    After the ordeal, Mom wanted some dinner. With charm and positivity, characteristic of Santa Cruz, the waiter at the restaurant said something like, “Are you having a great day?” Mom’s response was, “Yes, it was quite an adventure.” I was amazed. We had come dangerously close to rolling which could have been fatal. And even in a situation like this, she saw it as an adventure.

    A story that I love happened when were camping at MacKerricher State Park in Mendocino 3 years ago. The fields were full of flowers.  While walking back from the ocean I was looking directly at her face as we were talking. All of a sudden she disappeared. I was startled for a moment as I didn’t understand what had happened until I looked down and saw her on the ground.  She saw a flower and threw herself on the ground with enthusiastic abandon, clutching her little magnifying glass, exclaiming, “Isn’t it cute?” I laughed. No ordinary mom this one! (Mom is 81 this year and she still loves camping. This July we camped at the same campground.)

    This year marks the 20th anniversary of my ‘going forth’ as a nun. As I take this opportunity to pay homage, I see that the blessings from the extraordinary women of my life have given me an invaluable resource. Dipa Ma, more than anyone else, showed me the power of unconditional Love – giving me a direct transmission on what is left when everything else falls away- showing the mind in its natural state. Thank you Dipa Ma.


    [1] Dipa Ma: The Life and Legacy of a Buddhist Master by Amy Schmidt

    August 29, 2011

    International Bhikkhuni Day

    1st Annual International Bhikkhuni Day on  September 17

    I am just emerging from retreat and have stories to share. Before I do that, I want to let you know about this upcoming day and invite you join us here in our desert hermitage to honor and celebrate our women and monastic teachers!

    What is International Bhikkhuni Day?

    A day where we pay respects to the Bhikkhuni Sangha and acknowledge its essential role in preserving and spreading the Dhamma.

    Why September 17?

    The first Bhikkhuni, Mahapajapati Gotami ordained on the full moon of September, marking the start of the Bhikkhuni Sangha. She was the Buddha’s step mother and maternal aunt.

    What do we do on International Bhikkhuni Day?

    We remember prominent Bhikkhunis and their unique achievements and contributions. We honor the extraordinary women in our lives – those who have illuminated the path for us – by sharing stories of their lives: how they’ve shown us courage, compassion, generosity, patience, endurance, wisdom, creativity, flexibility, humor, how to play, and many other factors. We can also use the day to:

    • meditate
    • send thoughts of  kindness and compassion towards our families, communities and world
    • reaffirm our own commitment to awakening
    • listen to the realtime feed from other meditators around the world who are sharing their own experiences and stories
    • raise  funds to support ordained women

     

    Contact www.bhikkhuni.net for more information or ideas on how you can raise funds.

     

    July 20, 2011

    Vassa has begun

    The vassa began June 16. This is a time when Theravada Monastics spend three months together chanting, meditating, discussing Dhamma, studying the monastic discipline, and reciting the monastic rules every fortnight. In California there currently are two Theravada monasteries for women where a group of  Bhikkhunis, Samaneris, Anagarikas and monastic aspirants  have gathered for three months; Aranya Bodhi Forest Hermitage on the Sonoma coast and Mahapajapati Monastery near Joshua Tree National Park.

    I am at Mahapajapati, – the first vassa with sisters since I left the UK in 2009- and will soon have one month solitary retreat.

    Meanwhile the Aloka Vihara sisters, Ajahn Anandabodhi and Ajahn Santacitta are sewing robes and visiting Aranya Bodhi fortnightly in preparation for their Bhikkhuni ordination that is planned for 17 October at Spirit Rock. Samaneri Nimmala, Ajahn Medhanandi’s disciple at Sati Saraniya in Ottawa Canada, will be ordained at the same time.

    You can support us from afar with your aspiration to keep precepts, your intention to meditate and your thoughts of kindness. If any of you are nearby you can join in our public talks. If you would like more information or to support with basic needs contact:

    Aranya Bodhi: http://www.aranyabodhi.org/Mahapajapati: http://www.mahapajapati.com/

    Saranaloka Foundation: http://www.saranaloka.org/Sati Saraniya: http://www.satisaraniya.ca/

    Metta—-Thanasanti Bhikkhuni

    May 16, 2011

    Desert Bloom Full moon May 2011

     

    In April I went to Aranya Bodhi Forest Hermitage on the Sonoma coast of Northern California. The sisters there were kind and welcoming. Anagarika Gwyn has settled and seems to be enjoying the routine, the chanting, studying Pali and the presence of other robed Sisters. She has been working very hard, along with the others and the hermitage life seems to suit her.

     

    Aranya Bodhi aka “the Awakening Forest” is both rugged and rustic both in its amenities and its close proximity to elements of nature.  One monk who visited last year said that it was the most rustic of any of the Forest Monasteries he had ever been to. With so much rain over the last many months, the resident nuns and visitors have been busy this spring. In addition to cleaning and contending with the abundant growth of various molds, they have been painting the two new kutis or meditation huts, organizing road work, installing the new trailer and outfitting it with shelves, reorganizing the old pantry, and getting ready to install an upgraded shower and micro-hydro as an additional source of electricity.

     

    In the past year it is impressive the infrastructure that has been put in place. Part of the effort isn’t intended solely for the three who are resident now. This next Vassa retreat (mid July to mid October) there will be more bhikkhunis, samaneris, anagarikaas and woman monastic life aspirants[1] gathering to meditate, discuss the Dhamma and study the monastic discipline together. Ayya Tathaaloka is the Abbess and spent the winter at the hermitage’s in-town annex, the Bodhi House. It was due to her vision and research that culminated in a clear understanding of monastic procedures that both Bhikkhuni ordinations in Perth Australia in 2009 at Aranya Bodhi August 2010[2] were possible. She served as the preceptor for both.

     

    I describe Aranya Bodhi as rustic.  But rustic doesn’t begin to describe the beauty of this land- the sound of the stream, the absence of phones ringing, plane or cars noises.  It doesn’t capture a banana slug sliming its way across the road with its antennae alert and responsive. Rustic doesn’t capture the transformation when the sun shines after it has rained; how each drop on the tip of every redwood frond and blade of grass suddenly becomes a jewel, a kaleidoscope of color. Nor does it convey discovering a cluster of orchids in bloom.  Rustic doesn’t convey the views, the incline, flowers of many colors swaying in the wind in the field of green grass under the blue of the sky. Rustic doesn’t do justice to the birds in flight, playing the wind the way surfers surf the waves, with nothing more to do than to enjoy the timelessness of flight. Rustic doesn’t describe the dappled light looking up through the thick canopy of redwoods or a foot step received into a rich moist spongy loam of redwood duff- with each step received a waft of corresponding fragrance offered. Rustic doesn’t capture the vigilance of the lay steward Jackie as she tried to keep the chipmunks from invading the alms food while the sisters chanted. Rustic doesn’t capture the abseil of the spiders when the shower was turned on. Nor does rustic describe the sound of the chanting in the evening or the resonance of the Dhamma discussions after the meal. Rustic has no measure against the joy that the sisters have for being able to live and practice in a forest setting. Ayya Sobhana as the prioress is ideally suited to the place. Her love of monastic life, interest in supporting women, knowledge of the ancient Buddhist Pali language, practical skills and resiliency make her well equipped in her leadership. Samaneri Marajina is also well suited there. They love it and feel deeply connected to the land.
    When we realized my system was reacted to the molds, Ayya Tathaaloka encouraged me to go to Aranya Bodhi’s sister monastery Mahapajapati in the high desert. I left heading southbound.

    I have now arrived at Mahapajapati Monastery in southern California, in the Mohave Desert near Joshua Tree National Park – an hour away from Palm Springs airport. The contrast in landscapes from where I have just come could hardly be greater. The sky is wide open, the dryness apparant. There are few trees. The ants and lizards are abundant. There are birds, and they too soar on the wind currents. I hear there are bob cats, mountain lions and desert tortoises in the area which makes me happy, so too the coyotes call in the night and the sight or sound of snakes (at a safe distance). There is a carpet of flowers blooming everywhere right now like a quilt made of patches of rainbow- a delicateness emerging from the harsh dry landscape. Imagine my surprise when I found a cluster of orchids here too.

    The desert is like the mind. It requires sustained attention, interest, calm as well as the knowledge of where to begin to explore or you miss much of what is going on.

    Ayya Gunasari is the Abbess, a Burmese national who emigrated here in 1960’s with her husband. They both went to medical school in Burma and began to practice medicine here in the USA in the 1970’s. She was an anesthesiologist, he a surgeon. They have 4 daughters and 1 son. When Ayya was 60 years old, 19 years ago, she read the Samannaphala Sutta, [3]The Discourse on the Fruits of Recluseship and woke her husband up and said “I want to do this; I want to be a bhikkhuni.” Her husband, said, “Go back to sleep, you are dreaming.” But she wasn’t dreaming. She was adamant. It took her 10 years to prevail against the initial resistance of her husband. In 2003 she took bhikkhuni ordination with 4 others. One of the  nuns with which she ordained  also a Burmese national had by then been a thilashin[4] nun for 20 years. She returned to Burma and was put in jail for the sole crime of being a bhikkhuni returning to her homeland. The experience in jail was so disturbing, that it eventually culminated in her disrobing. But Ayya Gunasari persevered. In spite of incredible odds, she held firm to her wish to be a bhikkhuni and to create a place for other Buddhist monastic women to live. This would give a little more foothold for women who aspire to live the monastic life so they too can experience the abundant fruits of  ‘gone forth ones’ that the Buddha so beautifully described- benefits that when Ayya first heard, set in motion her aspiration.

    Now here in the middle of the desert there are bhikkhunis, samaneri, and anagarika as permanent residents with a few lay women visiting.

    Surrounding the house are rose bushes blushing full with blooms. There are 80 acres upon which resides a fully equipped house including room for meditation, two kutis, a caravan, and a library that is resplendent. In addition to her love of meditation, Ayya is a well read scholar.

    I feel well here. The dry desert air is comforting. The wide open views extend far. The sky seems infinite and the stars at night stellar. I explore the trails that go for miles weaving through the landscape. The kuti I am in has what I need plus some. Ayya is kind, welcoming and happy for me to stay.

    One nice thing about the desert: There is time. I can read, I can write. There are hours a day to meditate. And when I met David, one of our few neighbors 25 minutes walk from here, he had time to talk.

    Day two upon arrival I decided to explore the land and feel the earth beneath my feet, rocks against my back and limbs. I ended up on some boulders nearby. I felt well there, settled and content. As the light was dimming behind the mountains in the distance, I thought to return. Before leaving, I noticed a Buddha had been nestled into the rock right beside me. I felt happy. “Auspicious sign,” I thought. So I got up and after taking a few steps felt surprised to be surrounded by bees. Where did they come from?

    I brushed them gently away. When they starting stinging me, I realized they weren’t happy to meet my acquaintance. I apologized for disturbing them. But they didn’t leave nor stop stinging. As quickly as I could move on the stones and through the thorny scrub, I headed back to the buildings apologizing all the while the bees kept following and stinging me.

    Robyn, a monastic life aspirant, helped pull-out the stingers and counted 30 stings. That night, the sensations from each sting were strong and painful.  The second night the itching was more intense and more difficult to bear than the pain. By day three, the swelling and itching were down. Ayya and I were acutely aware of some of the difficulties that could have arisen and we had back-up plans in case my breathing started to restrict. All those bee stings seemed to have shifted the immune reaction from the mold out of my system and my lungs felt a lot better after than before.

    Meditation teaches how not to add anything extra to something difficult. True enough I was a bit tense when they were stinging, particularly near my eyes. Apologizing helped me to stay connected to a thread of kindness and supported relaxing around the tension. I wasn’t shaken. The ordeal over, there are a few things that come to mind; what a powerful reflection on how quickly things can change and how blessings can come in strange packages- venom into medicine- not what we normally think. Blessed bees.

    I left Colorado Springs hoping to structure my life around writing, living with other sisters and meeting other peers[5], spending time in communities where there is interest in this journey of waking up and personal retreat time. I land here and see what emerges.

    Having left Colorado, many people have asked how my Dad is as I was involved with his care. He is doing well. His health is a little frail but stable. All of us are grateful for my brother and sister-in-law’s loving care and the care and competence of the care-givers now. Mom in California continues to be remarkable.

    The full Moon in May commemorates the birth, 2600 years since the enlightenment and 2554 years since the death of the Buddha.  Once born, we share with all living beings the fragility of life and the certainty of death. And yet what of enlightenment? What is to escape the spell of the sensuous and abide in compassion, joy and equanimity as a resting place; be absorbed into calm and then to move towards realizing a pervading joy and peace that is not based on changing conditions?

    I am in contact with many people who share how much pressure they feel. In these times of uncertainty and challenge, it is good to take care of ourselves and each other and keep our hearts warm.

    Amma Thanasanti
    (‘Amma’ is a Pali word meaning both ‘mother’ and ‘dear one’. As ‘dear one’ is reciprocal -I feel that way about you- it feels timely as a new -and yet another- way of addressing me.)

    Mahapajapati Monastery, Box P.O. Box 587, Pioneertown, CA, 92268 (760) 369-0460 http://www.mahapajapati.com/

    For information about teaching or to help with meals, transport

    Michigan May 24-June 8. Contact: Martha Zingo arcticgyr@gmail.com, (734) 730-4239

    Colorado June 11-July 9. Contact: Kat Pecoraro  krpecora@gmail.com, (720) 988-9950


    [1] A Bhikkhuni is a fully ordained Buddhist nun that has 311 precepts. A Samaneri is a novice nun who has 10precepts. An Anagarika is a postulant with 8 precepts. A monastic life aspirant is a woman often living on the 8 precepts who is interested in exploring if living as a nun is something that will be supportive to her path and her practice.

    [2] My story was published as “Finding A Way Forward” in Inquiring Mind Spring Issue 2011 entitled “Passages.”

    [3] Samannaphala Sutta, Digha Nikaya 2; Bhikkhu Bodhi’s translation.

    [4] Thilashin is an 8 precept nun in Burma.

    [5] In addition to other Nuns and Monks, peers are post monastics, senior Dhamma teachers and senior lay practioners.

    March 23, 2011

    Awakening Truth in Transition


    I returned to Colorado Springs about two weeks ago after important retreat time and teaching to much change. It was clear during my winter retreat that changes were needed; I needed to reorganize priorities for myself as well as find better ways to support the community while I was away teaching or on retreat.

    Not long before I returned there seemed to be a collective decision amongst the board members living in Colorado Springs that ‘it isn’t working here’.  In addition Anagarika Gwyn decided to accept the invitation to visit Aranya Bodhi Forest Hermitage in California in part because of the isolation from other monastics and the lack of a well-formed community wasn’t sufficiently supportive here. She is currently in Texas.

    Awakening Truth will be going into a minimal mode. Rather than focusing on building a training monastery for nuns right now, the organization will continue with the same vision; however, the emphasis will be on bringing the conditions necessary for building a monastery. I will be leaving initially for Aranya Bodhi Forest Hermitage in California to live with other Sisters and continue to travel and teach and speak about the vision until either there is a team of elders in conjunction with a group of lay people to both hold and enact the vision or the vision changes.  Ideally, I would like to divide the year between time in community with other Sisters, time of retreat and teaching. What would be most ideal is to be nun in residence for different vipassana communities for 2-6 weeks in one place – holding discussion, study groups, offering interviews, non-residential and residential retreats.

    I will be vacating Tava Vihara and leaving on the 11 April.  How and when I return to use Shakti Vihara remains unsure. Tava Sangha will be disbanding unless there are people who wish to continue meeting together and sharing silence as well as are willing to have peer led group discussions about meditation practice and living a spiritual life.

    Making many friends, being able to care for my elderly father, having moonlight meditation vigils, Dhamma discussions and forays to the Rocks in the Garden of the Gods and spend time with family as well as having the basic needs provided for the time that I have been able to live here has left many positive impressions. I feel deeply grateful.

    So there is great sadness to be uprooting as well as a sense of rightness in the way things are unfolding. As unsettling as it is, it feels like a blessing in a very strange package.

    We will be having a community meeting at the TavaVihara, 511 Columbia Road, 26 March 6:30 PM to talk more about these things, answer questions, share some silence and have some tea together. All are welcome.

    Some help may be needed with packing and shifting things. Contact info@awakeningtruth.org

     

    Between now and 11 April help is needed to either prepare a meal at home and offer it, use ingredients at Tava Vihara to prepare meals or offer restaurant meals. Contact meals@awakeningtruth.org

     

    In the spirit of friendship and metta,

    Ajahn Thanasanti Bhikkhuni

    December 21, 2010

    Reflections of a Precept Ceremony

    December 11, Gwyn Waterfield formally took the traditional 3 refuges and 8-precepts and made a commitment to being an anagarikaa (postulant) in the Theravada Forest Buddhist Tradition for one year. About 50 people came, many from far away, to support Gwyn and participate in this ceremony. You can see photos in the gallery called Precept Ceremony.
    We live in Colorado Springs, Colorado where there isn’t much familiarity with Buddhist monasticism and the traditions that are connected to it. To give you some idea of what happened, we invited some of our friends who came to support to reflect on their experience of the ceremony. The talk that is referred to (discourse) “Going Forth” can be downloaded and listened to.
    Below are some responses to the following questions:
    1. What happened for you when you were observing the ceremony?
    2. How has this ceremony affected how you relate to your own choices and/or your meditation practice?
    3. What is your understanding of sangha (spiritual community) and how has Gwyn’s precept ceremony affected your understanding?
    4. Are there other reflections you would like to share?
    5. What is your relationship with Gwyn/Awakening Truth – and how long have you known Gwyn or been involved with Awakening Truth?

    May all beings be well.

    Ajahn Thanasanti Bhikkhuni

    Participant’s responses:


    I met Gwyn at a 10-day retreat, taught by Ajahn Thanasanti and Ajahn Metta in 2009.  During our drive back to Boulder, CO, we shared our enthusiasm about the dharma, the teachings of Ajahn Thanasanti and she also shared with me her aspirations of someday ordaining as a Buddhist nun.   Less than two years later:  here I was, honored to be at her Anagarikaa ceremony.

    I do not often have the opportunity to bear witness to one’s deep commitment to the dharma.  I did not see all the steps leading to Gwyn’s moving to Colorado Springs to take the precepts, live as a renunciate and study the dharma with Ajahn Thanasanti.  But having seen Gywn’s intention come to fruition was inspiring.  During the ceremony, I had a deeper realization of the interconnectedness between myself, Gwyn and the rest of Sangha.  We truly are a continuous circle.  There is no hierarchy to it: we are simply connected and interdependent and that is the way it is.  It has made Gwyn and Ajahn Thanasanti’s commitment to the Dharma, as well as the fullness of this dharmic community more real to me.

    Since the ceremony, the words which Ajahn Thanasanti spoke of : “highest aspirations” have stayed with me.   I have invited myself to question “what is my highest aspiration in this moment”, so that whatever is arising, no matter how difficult or “sticky” it feels, or how” checked out” I want to be, there is opportunity to awaken in that moment.  This has brought what I feel is the essence of the ceremony to my daily (both on and off the cushion) practice.

    Anonymous

    I have not been able to stop drawing from the ceremony.  It was and is a moving experience for me.  2. I am trying to be a better person.  3.  I am glad to see the beliefs still exist in so many young people.  4.Yes.The ceremony, beliefs and devotion should be universal.  I will work on me first!  5.  Since birth!  In fact at times, I felt I was holding her in my arms again as baby  and there she is a strong, devoted and caring young woman.

    Gail Waterfield, Gwyn’s Mom


    The simplicity of the ceremony was very reassuring to me and made me feel relaxed the rest of the evening. Usually, ceremonies make me withdraw; they give me a feeling of tightness in body.

    I had scarcely known Gwyn before seeing her on the day of the ceremony except for being in a silent meditation retreat together last New Year’s. However, I had heard of her from Ajahn and would always wonder what transformed her to dedicate her life, in steps, towards Awakening. It is with this wonderment and a curiosity that I drove 6 hours to come for the ceremony.  I too had taken the precepts on several occasions so I thought, “That’s it! that’s what it takes to becomes an anagarikaa!”  Even if I disregarded the white clothes and the tonsure,  I was mistaken.

    The discourse by Bhikkhuni Thanasanti that followed the ceremony made it clear as to what it means: a higher degree of adherence to the precepts while singularly focusing on attaining Awakening.The discourse was informative. On my way to the ceremony questions were arising as to what this step by Gwyn means to me, I as part of the society, the Sangha (community). The variegated references to interdependence talked about in the discourse helped me with answers. So, it is with a greater appreciation of my place in the society/sangha that I left the town, and to know that it gives me (and other lay people in/out-of the sangha) one more opportunity to be generous. In these talks I have heard, “generosity enables the goodness in a person to come forth.”

    In goodness it becomes easier to get more insights and to be on the path. Indeed, the interdependence with the monastic sangha would imply for me more guidance towards my own Awakening. Through I can see the practice of Anagarikaa Gwyn is at a higher degree. Participating in the ceremony reinforced and reinvigorated the sense of awakening together.

    Anonymous

    I felt it was a real special occasion for me just to be there and take part in such a significant commitment to the truth, to enlightenment. I benefited just from being present.

    It reminded me of the time I was fully engaged in teaching and being on long-term retreats and living in a community of only meditators. It made me reflect on how fortunate I was to have that opportunity in my life and that I could renew my own diligence and my own commitment even though I’m living a pretty secular life.

    (My experience of this precept ceremony was) extremely powerful… and wrapped in gentleness of pursuit. That it’s a very rare and powerful opportunity to seek truth with fellow travelers. And I feel honored and privileged to be a part of it.

    It’s pointing me to fulfilling a longing for the silence and the occasional being present. Yet being okay with my commitment at this stage in my life. Even still, I admire the courage and the commitment of Gwyn and Sister to the commitment which clears the path for me to go forth, in a small way.

    (I know Gwyn) maybe a month – and I know her just because she greeted me with a smile and open arms and spoke to me on the phone when I called to inquire about it. It makes me aware of how superficial secular life can be . With any worthwhile pursuit, it has to be accompanied by awareness and consciousness. Through showing up, I can start to change my habits, perceptions and  choices. And these awarenesses are re-enlivened just by being a participant in meditation, having the privilege of showing up.

    Martinaya


    For me participation in the precept ceremony extended far beyond the event of the ceremony itself. I was fortunate to have arrived in Colorado Springs three weeks preceding the ceremony, as I had arranged to visit Ajahn Thanasanti Bhikkhuni and Gwyn prior to Gwyn’s decision to become an anagarikaa. Though I met Gwyn for the first time then, it feels we have known each other always; it is a rare and beautiful connection. Similarly, Ajahn I met just over a year ago, and her teaching and presence in my life continue to be profoundly transformative and healing.


    I arrived with a pre-existing commitment to this path and practice, but with a very foggy understanding of monastic life and discipline, carrying vague imaginings of a placid calm tranquility. Being here I have been happy that this foggy notion has sharpened into vibrant focus, seeing that here too (of course!) all the richness of what we call ‘life’ flows. There has been busy-ness and bustling activity and schedules and the range of emotions just like anywhere. There have been robes to sew and errands to run and meals to prepare and countless tasks to attend to. The difference that I am finding is that all of this is held by the container of a very conscious intention to balance the inevitable activities of life with stillness, quiet and reflection. There is also daily routine of sitting, walking and sharing and being quiet and chanting together.


    The Buddha described the importance of the four-fold Sangha- of monks nuns and lay men and lay women. Before coming here this was just an abstract notion that I had not much considered, but now my perspective of this has shifted considerably. Going into a public place with Ajahn and Anagarikaa Gwyn, I see the faces of people light up who may have not a scrap of exposure with Buddhism. While momentary, these encounters are not insignificant. They are widening rings of dana (generosity). Sangha members come in and offer their presence and support, their time and energy and meals, all as gifts. The teachings are a gift. It is not a transaction. The teachings are impossible without the generosity that supports them. In this flowing, the giver and receiver meld.


    One significant difference from lay life is the keeping of precepts. Keeping the 8-precepts with Gwyn, and beginning to learn about the intricacies of 300+ precepts that Ajahn keeps as a Bhikkhuni, I have begun to see that rather than being mere rules to follow (which would turn one into an automaton), the precepts create a container a structure within which there is endless space for investigation, opening, listening, unfolding of life through the Dhamma- the truth of the way things are.


    I believe it is because of the safety of this container that so much can emerge and some of the edges of self can be released, healed and cared for, lead to greater freedom, to awakening. The things that the precepts address such as appearance, meal times, and inter personal conduct are tempered by this cradle of the structure of vinaya – (discipline) and support of community. Being here with Gwyn as she is entering this new territory, I can see that the transition is challenging and gradual. It is profoundly inspiring to learn from Gwyn, from her deep dedication to work with all that is arising through this transition.


    I feel gratitude encountering the depth to which both Gwyn and Ajahn are willing to let go and trust the unfolding of life. I can see that having more choices does not necessarily bring more freedom.


    My admiration and respect deepens every day for both of these women as I witness the difficulties of being in a more defined and tighter outward form as well as the blessings that come from living in a field of generosity. Support pours in for Gwyn. This step she is taking is both personal and symbolic, extending far beyond her, connecting us all.

    Amy


    The ceremony was a blessing to experience. First steps into the church were breathtaking, not only from the beauty and sacred feel of the church, but the observance of silence from those who had taken their seats. There was a strong sense of respect in the silence. Such silence was acknowledging the importance to leave personal feelings and perceptions at the door. As an open feeling of compassion and love was able to come up freely and to enjoy in the listening of silent air.

    I admired the hours of preparation in each sense of being and through the community’s ability to commemorate this step in a woman’s path. The first of these senses was when Gwyn sounded well trained in her Pali verse, and the resonance of the bell at silent sit reached into my chest. The smells of slight incense and various flowers from friends and family brought in simple scent. The taste of curry from dinner and the reflection on the precept to refrain from (eating after mid-day) for Gwyn in her movement forward. Finally, from looking at the carefully knitted seams on her robes, there was a sense of peace in each element coming together. From all those that helped in the making of the robes, the vow that they represent, and the transformation they will soon possess beneath them.

    With Gwyn’s Anagarikaa precepts comes an eagerness to support and learn from the humbling of renunciation. I’ve known Gwyn a short time, about 4 months, but she is so graceful in her words and her presence that I immediately felt close to her. I remember walking under the moon on the rocks with her and thinking to myself, may this woman be a strong influence in my life and may I let our relationship flourish as it may. I’m happy to be a part of Gwyn’s path as a reflection of my own. Many blessings the community has shared and many blessings to Gwyn in the next steps of awakening.

    Metta,

    Kat


    I felt gratitude at being able to offer support and be a part of Gwyn’s formal declaration of the precepts and her intention to become a nun. I also felt like I was part of a much larger tradition, an ancient tradition begun by the Buddha.

    I’ve thought about the precepts and considered ways in which I may bring more awareness to my choices in a way that is in alignment with the precepts. In what ways do I participate in incorrect speech and in what ways do I distract myself with forms of entertainment and are my choices skillful?

    My understanding of spiritual community is of a group of like-minded people committed to awakening who practice together and support each other on the path.

    I’m grateful for having had the opportunity to participate in the precept ceremony and appreciated the talk by Ajahn as she went through the precepts and explained why each one is practiced.

    I have known Gwyn only since she has moved to Colorado Springs and have been involved with Awakening Truth since this past summer.

    Darcie


    I went to a place of ease and centeredness. It gave me great pleasure to see Gwyn fulfill her soul’s leadings. I loved seeing Ajahn in the role of Buddhist “sister” and “teacher.” I’ve known there was something missing in her life that none of us could fulfill. That she is most at ease and comfortable with companion “sisters” is quite evident. I am very glad to have this element back in her life.

    I have always been attracted to the monastic life and so can live vicariously through Ajahn and Anagarikaa. Though it is not the path that is suitable for me now, it is quieting and calming to participate in supporting them. There are times when I get bounced out of meditation as a way of life, but since I have frequent contact it is easier to regain the calm, peaceful qualities consistent with meditation practice.

    Being part of the Tava Sangha community has endless value for me. Having supported and then observed the precept ceremony was very powerful.

    I have heard the precepts illuminated several times and profit with each telling. That Gwyn is a friend who is fully dedicating her life to contemplation and renunciation is significant to me. I want to support her. In a sense she is taking a little part of me on her journey. It is good for me that the lay community can participate in the life of the vihara (dwelling of monastics).

    I am getting more comfortable with the traditions and rituals of Buddhism. It feels very good and feeds my soul. I experience the reciprocal relationship that is supposed to occur between the monastic and the community. I appreciate the patience I am shown as I learn what is appropriate and valued. The journey of coming to Buddhism has been slow and natural. I appreciate the gentleness with which my experience has unfolded.

    I have known Ajahn since 2003 and of Gwyn since the very first retreat. That she was interested in becoming a nun has been anticipated event for some time. I met her for the first time last July when she moved into the Tava Vihara. She is now my beloved sister just as Sister Thanasanti is. I have been involved with Awakening Truth since its inception.

    Anonymous

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